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Reform Magazine | September 29, 2020

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Commitment-Phobe: Locked in

Commitment-Phobe: Locked in

Navigating self discovery in lockdown

I am writing this in early May, after seven weeks of lockdown in the UK. But by the time you are reading this, lockdown may be over and social distancing will be easing. Or not. This bank holiday weekend is supposed to end with a clear announcement from our Prime Minister. Or maybe not. I can’t focus on the future – if I have learnt one thing from lockdown it has been to follow my husband’s mantra: ‘It’s just today and tomorrow.’

During this time, as a family, we have thoroughly enjoyed our church experience for various reasons. For my daughter, the experience felt a lot more one-to-one (turns out not all kids want to hang out with three year groups competing for attention on a Sunday morning.) She also enjoys not having to get out of pyjamas. For my husband, a break from serving in hospitality was gratefully received (turns out he likes to serve but doesn’t enjoy it as such.) I am grateful for not being busy all the time, the reduced requests for help. Also the pyjamas. Being able to sing songs of worship and pray and comment on Facebook has not seemed odd at all.

Last weekend was the first time that the message felt a little off. The sermon was about looking out for others in Covid times, which might sound fine but my husband left the room halfway through. He couldn’t take it, because he had spent six weeks trying to help all his staff keep their jobs and to get some money to cover them in this uncertain time in an industry that is unlikely to restart until a vaccine has been found. He was burnt out from working at this puzzle, day and night. He felt like he had done enough and refused to feel guilty….

Commitment-Phobe is a Christian

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This is an extract from an article that was published in the June 2020 edition of Reform

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