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Reform Magazine | November 29, 2023

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Commitment-Phobe: This is the one!

Commitment-Phobe: This is the one!

commitment-phobe-cropAfter a year of searching, it’s commitment time

Having decided to move on from atheism, Commitment-Phobe
 has been touring churches of all denominations looking for God

This time last year, I first introduced myself to you: Someone from an atheist upbringing who had halfheartedly tried to get religious and just couldn’t stick at it. And so I called myself Commitment-Phobe. A curious atheist; a confused agnostic. I hadn’t found God, despite trying to read the Bible, and The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, and watching Jesus Christ Superstar. But Jesus appealled to me. So, living in a corner of London with an inordinate number of churches, representing too many denom-inations to count, I decided to try to find God by going to church and spending time with people who got him/her in a Jesus-shaped way. (I still haven’t worked out a gender for God.)

Now, a year has passed. There have been ups and downs, discoveries, confusions, embarrassments. But, at last, I have found my church (I think). It may not be the closest to me; it may not be as wild a choice as I had secretly hoped for – in the end I was too much of a coward to visit the Seventh Day Adventists or any of the churches with more than three words in their name. I went with the church my daughter chose.

She goes to playgroup there. She is happy with the quality of toys. The volunteers treat her with respect and keep an eye on her when I pop out of the room.

There also happens to be an Alpha course being run there. And, very important for my husband, you can go to church in your jeans…


This is an extract from the October 2014 edition of Reform.

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