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Reform Magazine | February 25, 2017

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Jumble Sales of the apocalypse

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Rolling out the red carpet for ET

January 30, 2017 |

There was wonderful news a few months ago when exoplanets were discovered circling a nearby star in the constellation of Aquarius. One of the planets orbiting Trappist-1, an ultracool dwarf star, might be suitable for life, and, as it’s only … Read More

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Christingle

November 30, 2016 | 2

Simon Jenkins ponders Christingle

A few days before Christmas, a woman posted on Mumsnet.com in a state of utter bafflement: ‘A satsuma, a candle, two raisins, a sweet, four cocktail sticks and a peanut … what?’ Her daughter had just … Read More

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Blessed Beer

November 1, 2016 |

Simon Jenkins enjoys blessed beer

A priest walks into a bar and asks the barman to give him a Hail Mary. ‘Don’t you mean a Bloody Mary?’ replies the barman. ‘And two Our Fathers for insulting the Blessed Virgin,’ says … Read More

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Rude hymns

September 26, 2016 | 2

Simon Jenkins on rude hymns

In the words of the continuity announcements on Channel 4, this column may contain strong language and scenes of a sexual nature from the start. Our subject this month is sex and hymns. You might … Read More

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Reducing Scripture to clip art

August 26, 2016 |

The Emoji Bible is in better company than it deserves

It’s smiley faces all round. News has broken that the holy scriptures have at last been translated into emoji. For Martian readers, emoji are the colourful little symbols humans use … Read More

Jumble sales of the apocalypse: Could an android be baptised, or ordained?

July 6, 2016 |

When robots come to church

One of the great theological questions I never got answered when I was in Sunday school was: “How does Jesus get my collection money?” The question arose whenever I put a couple of warm pennies … Read More