Commitment-Phobe: What is my calling?
How do I discern my calling?
How do we discern what God is calling us to do? I have been asking friends and acquaintances. How do we decide between what we should do and what we like to do? And, are the two mutually opposed?
In the recent past, when I have wanted to make a decision, one small pocket of friends advised me to fast and pray. Fasting: it’s not really my thing. (Is it anyone’s?) As someone who has suffered from anxiety, my digestive system is pretty shot to pieces. And, going without food while worrying about a problem weakens my immune system, so, every time I have tried to fast, I have ended up with a cold.
Recently, our church was given the opportunity to run a homeless shelter once a week. My vicar approached a group of us by email, to organise a team and a rota for this. After the general election result, this seemed like absolutely the kind of thing our church should be doing, as austerity seems here to stay. However, I knew that this would be a massive commitment and responsibility, and that it would not be straightforward. I responded to the vicar’s email after a very long silence from us all, asking lots of questions. This resulted in my virtually being co-opted into administrating the shelter. What about my volunteering for the worship team?
I checked in with my friend, who has taken on the administration of the worship team rotas, to see if I could do less services, or do backing vocals rather than lead worship. But it became clear that team availability is really limited this term, and so my being unavailable would leave others really stretched…
Commitment-Phobe is a Christian
This is an extract from an article that was published in the February 2020 edition of Reform