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Reform Magazine | December 7, 2023

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Commitment-Phobe: Confirming my faith

Commitment-Phobe: Confirming my faith

Moving on from atheism, Commitment-Phobe toured churches and tried God. Now, as a new Christian, her journey continues

I was recently confirmed in the Anglican Church tradition. Why? Well, that was the question I had to ask myself too. My vicar invited me to be confirmed. At first I was confused as to why. I only recently got baptised, a big sign of commitment for an adult to make. So, why confirmation? I guess, there is part of me that feels that having tasted some of the rough times while being a Christian, I can now safely confirm myself knowing that the wrestle between wanting to run away from my faith and being overwhelmed with excitement for it is all part of how I do it. There will be ups, there will be downs and there will be dry patches. These dry patches seem all too easy to find.

I often find myself laughing inwardly when Christian speakers talk about this. What makes me laugh is that in one breath they say that too much ‘religion’ is bad for you and that genuine spiritual connection with God is more important; but, in the next breath, they’ll say that it is absolutely vital to have a prayer practice, a Bible reading practice, a quiet time practice, all as part of making that connection. I know that this may be true, but to me – a mum with little time on her hands who misses reading novels in one sitting – these practices feel like another thing I am not going to manage to squeeze in. They feel a lot like rules and religion.

As a result, my prayer and Bible reading practice seems to occur in spits and spurts. I have great peaks of involvement that will peter out to nothing at other times. This may also be because I bounce off of other people – I understand things better when I hear a variety of voices reflecting on them. I guess I learn and engage both verbally and socially. …

Commitment-Phobe is a new Christian


This is an extract from an article that was published in the September 2017 edition of  Reform

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