Commitment-Phobe: When I change the world
This time last year, I had recently decided that I would give Christianity a serious go. I don’t think I could have imagined that the following year I would be singing in the choir for the yearly carol concert – nor that I would be feeling more “bah, humbug” than “joy to the world”. After my baptism, with all the enthusiasm of a recent convert, I thought that I might just change the world, all of it. But the world keeps turning and I am changing very slowly. I get ideas for starting projects to help others, but I lose momentum when I think how much time, organisation and effort I will have to put in, even if I do ask for help from fellow church members.
At the same time, my Facebook feed is inundated with updates from my friend who is virtually running a grassroots movement to get supplies to the refugees stuck in makeshift camps throughout Europe. Reading these, I think: “Wow, why can’t I do that?” But when she does make a request for help with sorting donations, I am never available or can’t see how to do it with a bored infant in tow.
Then, when my church asks for donations for the tombola at the Christmas fair, I grizzle to myself about wanting to do more “vital” things – work in foodbanks or homeless shelters. I feel like the Christmas grouch…
Commitment-Phobe is trying God
This is an extract from the December 2015/January 2016 edition of Reform.